Wishes
by Pink Illusion
Summary: Sokka wishes he was the Avatar. Sokkacentric, angst. One shot.


Sokka wishes he was the Avatar. The thought haunts him, occupying his thoughts. It eats away at him, a selfish wish accompanied by guilt. Sokka ignores this. He pushes it aside, hides it, ever-ready to change the subject. It is a hidden desire, something left untold, for if the truth gets out, respect for him will evaporate. Sokka knows this. He sees Aang and curses himself for his thoughts, scolds himself mentally.

_The glow is ghostly, illuminating everything, reflecting on the water. _

Sokka's eyes open; he shakes the memories out of his head, refuses to remember any more. Having brought himself back to the present, he avoids the gazes, heavy as they might be, of the others. He rids himself of the emptiness, the sadness.

Or so he thinks. It soon returns, a ghost of a boomerang once thrown, making him pause. There is no escaping it. It is unrelenting and remorseless; how can it be, if it is only an emotion? Yet it tears at him, as savage as any man, Fire Nation or otherwise. A mixture of bitter envy and of miserable guilt courses through him, from more than one source. He doesn't deserve to be a warrior, and he whispers this, if only in his mind. Every flaw and weakness shows itself, a horrible revenge, and upon himself. Against this, he is helpless, and that brings him back to the source of his sorrow. If he were the Avatar, would he have this, this sadness, this regret? He struggles to answer this, and finds himself wistful again, hoping for something he will never have. The helplessness sets in as he thinks: And there is nothing I can do. It is reality, and for once, Sokka wants to shield himself in fantasies, but he is not someone to do so. The sadness tugs at him now, pulls at him.

_Tui and La. Push and pull._

Sokka's eyes blur. They stray to the true Avatar, weighted down with tears.

_"You didn't protect me."_

Her words still burn him, like a icy fire he can't help touching, and he sees how true they are. The waves of helplessness are back now, stronger.

"I couldn't."

He was unfit for the job, helpless, just a warrior boy accompanying the mighty Avatar. He still is.

_She's back as fast as she was gone, surrounded by an ethereal glow, floating, beautiful as ever, sadness etched in her face. She's there, back for him, because she knows he is powerless to help her. She'll never accuse him of this, even if she has the chance. She's here for a kiss, a farewell. _

Sokka wipes the tears roughly from his face, because it's not manly to cry. He can't help but look at Aang, envy so obvious, but he is not noticed. He never is. He is not the Avatar. He will not play the divine messenger, sent to restore balance. He will be the sarcastic sidekick, he will always be, and there is no changing that.

_They're together, high up, ashes drifting down, but still happy. Flying on Appa, the furry beast, friendly bison. He's showing off a bit, but it's only natural. They smile at each other, unknowing of the tragedy due to unfold. Sokka speaks and listens, listens and speaks. Laughs, and so does Yue. Hers is the most wonderful laugh he's heard, bursting out of her, beautiful, yet tinted with sadness. He doesn't know, all he knows is that beautiful laugh, and those eyes that mirror the sky and sea. _

The moon stares coldly at him, its surface glimmering, bright and beautiful. It is Yue.

_"My father named me for the moon."_

He recalls the words. They are so accurate, and he wants to tell her so. "Yue!" he shouts, "Your name fits you!" He swears he can hear the laughter, the same as before. Then it melts away, and he is left alone, foolish. Alone. If he were the Avatar, they would never be divided by two worlds. They'd always be together, the medium and the moon, together. Never alone. Sokka doesn't understand all of it. He's skeptical of it all, hesitant to be included. He wishes he did, wishes he understood the legends, and wishes the place full of the stories he might learn had never been found by Admiral Zhao, wishes, wishes, wishes. Sokka wishes he were the Avatar.

Sokka is a person of many wishes.

None of which will ever come true.

--

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it. It was very sad to write, and is dedicated to my best friend. I'd like to say sorry. Anyways, I'm excited about Season Three tomorrow! Review if you'd like.**


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